Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

The sadness was still there.

Be who you already are.

How did it feel to take your first gay BBC?

It’s here now, writing to you.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What is the most sentimental item you inherited from someone dear to you and what does it mean to you?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

It’s still here.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

How can I get a girlfriend? I am 26.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

And the sadness?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Why do most atheists in debates with theists take Bible verses out of context much of the time? Are they lying maliciously or do they not understand theology enough to understand the meaning?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Why do some of those who believe in a god refuse to consider the possibility they could be wrong?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

I was tired of trying and failing.

What are some sex stories from your college days?

I was tired of fighting.

I had run out of hope.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Why am I not getting any atheists to debate with? Are they scared?

You are like me, then.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Why do people smoke?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

What is the reason behind some people referring to themselves as "nice guys" instead of simply being nice?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.